I am working on updating things around here... Hopefully in the next couple of days I will have new pictures, updates on life and the visitors we have had over the past couple of months as well as updates on the kids. :)
In my spare time (ha ha!) I also want to rearrange the look of this space... so pardon the mess please :)
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
July 27, 2010
January 26, 2009
Epiphany
Moving back to your "hometown" always holds some uncertainty. Especially when you had a crappy highschool experiance. Maybe that crappy experiance wasn't just highschool but a part of your childhood. And seeing as I'm pretty confident that there are maybe three people from highschool who read this blog and will understand what it is I am referring to - with out getting into specifics.
Everyone has a "bully" in their life. It make come in the form of a egotistical boss, the know it all friend who has the "my way or the highway" attitude or maybe even the passive aggressive "whatever" person who will inevitably hold a grudge. Perhaps your the "thug" in someone elses life and you didn't know it.
My "intimidator" from the past recently came back into my life. Well lets just say they where attempting to in a manner I could handle prior to last week. Then they changed the game. Contact was made (not the physical kind - but unpleasant none the less). They have attempted to make a place I was enjoying going somewhere that I don't want to be - due to the possiblity of running into them. This "goon" has had the ability to make me physically sick (reference the raging migraine that is working on dissapating). I spent some quality time on my own this morning soaking in the hot tub trying to figure out what I was going to do.
So here it is.. all the things I laid out as expectations still stand. Accountablity is required - not an option. It's not my fault that you feel like your missing out. You had the option to be included and chose not to rise to the occasion. Blindsiding is NOT an option. You may feel that because I was in a public place that it was ok to approach me. Next time don't smirk like you've won a prize because in reality - your just making it harder to reach. Certianly do not change the way the game is played... incase you failed to notice you do not hold the position of authority anymore. It's mine. I worked very hard to quell the anger and resentment I have towards you - it's up to YOU to not entice it back out of the closet. I do not see any benifit for me in continueing the game - there are only benifits for you. Therefor I have nothing to loose, while you have a lot to loose. I am not nostalgic for the way things where. And since that is the case - I'm not worried about what "might" be missing. I am happy with how my life has progressed since you chose the path you did. I have realized I don't need you or the other one who left long before you did. The choice is now yours and you have everything to loose in this battle of wills... I stand to loose nothing and refuse to put anything else of myself into this and you will not make things any rougher or unpleasant any longer.
Everyone has a "bully" in their life. It make come in the form of a egotistical boss, the know it all friend who has the "my way or the highway" attitude or maybe even the passive aggressive "whatever" person who will inevitably hold a grudge. Perhaps your the "thug" in someone elses life and you didn't know it.
My "intimidator" from the past recently came back into my life. Well lets just say they where attempting to in a manner I could handle prior to last week. Then they changed the game. Contact was made (not the physical kind - but unpleasant none the less). They have attempted to make a place I was enjoying going somewhere that I don't want to be - due to the possiblity of running into them. This "goon" has had the ability to make me physically sick (reference the raging migraine that is working on dissapating). I spent some quality time on my own this morning soaking in the hot tub trying to figure out what I was going to do.
So here it is.. all the things I laid out as expectations still stand. Accountablity is required - not an option. It's not my fault that you feel like your missing out. You had the option to be included and chose not to rise to the occasion. Blindsiding is NOT an option. You may feel that because I was in a public place that it was ok to approach me. Next time don't smirk like you've won a prize because in reality - your just making it harder to reach. Certianly do not change the way the game is played... incase you failed to notice you do not hold the position of authority anymore. It's mine. I worked very hard to quell the anger and resentment I have towards you - it's up to YOU to not entice it back out of the closet. I do not see any benifit for me in continueing the game - there are only benifits for you. Therefor I have nothing to loose, while you have a lot to loose. I am not nostalgic for the way things where. And since that is the case - I'm not worried about what "might" be missing. I am happy with how my life has progressed since you chose the path you did. I have realized I don't need you or the other one who left long before you did. The choice is now yours and you have everything to loose in this battle of wills... I stand to loose nothing and refuse to put anything else of myself into this and you will not make things any rougher or unpleasant any longer.
November 25, 2008
BiPolar Denial...
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I'm sad I'm moving away from friends.
I'm happy I'm moving home... but my best (and most entertaining friend) is moving in February.
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I hate packing. (Unless the movers do it - which I don't get this time)
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I don't want to pack. (and lately have found every reason NOT to)
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I'll miss my stuff.
I'm happy I'm moving home... but my best (and most entertaining friend) is moving in February.
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I hate packing. (Unless the movers do it - which I don't get this time)
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I don't want to pack. (and lately have found every reason NOT to)
I'm happy I'm moving home... but I'll miss my stuff.
November 02, 2008
Reflection...Looking Back A Year Ago Today
A year ago today, pretty close to this time of day (3:30pm) things where drastically different then they are right now.
I was madly finishing up cleaning my house. I was attempting to doll myself up and make it to the airport early. The only person I had to worry about at that moment was me. I was rushing to get everything done before Chris came home from overseas.
Seeing him after six months was going to be awesome and well worth it. He was going to see me with blond hair for the first time in my life (my Halloween costume last year was Marylin Monroe - and I couldn't find a wig that looked right so I bleached mine) and see the weight I had worked hard to loose while he was gone in person.
I know with absolute certainty that the night he came home, Jr was conceived. Looking back Jr was worth the four year wait. I wouldn't change anything in my life right now, although sometimes I wish teething where easier for Jr and for me but I still wouldn't change anything. I love my son, I love my wonderful husband.
How many people can say with ABSOLUTE certainty what day/night their child was conceived? And quite honestly, you can't get much more planned then Jr was. And I am oh so thankful for all the smiles, silly faces and all the little funny things he does (like trying to eat his fingers and a spoon full of cereal at the same time).
I was madly finishing up cleaning my house. I was attempting to doll myself up and make it to the airport early. The only person I had to worry about at that moment was me. I was rushing to get everything done before Chris came home from overseas.
Seeing him after six months was going to be awesome and well worth it. He was going to see me with blond hair for the first time in my life (my Halloween costume last year was Marylin Monroe - and I couldn't find a wig that looked right so I bleached mine) and see the weight I had worked hard to loose while he was gone in person.
I know with absolute certainty that the night he came home, Jr was conceived. Looking back Jr was worth the four year wait. I wouldn't change anything in my life right now, although sometimes I wish teething where easier for Jr and for me but I still wouldn't change anything. I love my son, I love my wonderful husband.
How many people can say with ABSOLUTE certainty what day/night their child was conceived? And quite honestly, you can't get much more planned then Jr was. And I am oh so thankful for all the smiles, silly faces and all the little funny things he does (like trying to eat his fingers and a spoon full of cereal at the same time).
September 30, 2008
Pleasantly Chaotic
Yep. That's our new name.
While my previous name was applicable to what was going on at the time (and periodically now) it was time for a change. New name, layout (while similar is different) and new colors.
I needed something that was going to appropriately cover my feelings of this new road that I am on. Attempting to navigate through the waters of being a mother, a wife and the ever struggling student while trying not to screw it all up. Thank You Lizze for helping me figure out which direction to go in with the new-ness!
Coming soon... a give away! My very first! (we'll see how many people will actually comment when they stop by then!!)
While my previous name was applicable to what was going on at the time (and periodically now) it was time for a change. New name, layout (while similar is different) and new colors.
I needed something that was going to appropriately cover my feelings of this new road that I am on. Attempting to navigate through the waters of being a mother, a wife and the ever struggling student while trying not to screw it all up. Thank You Lizze for helping me figure out which direction to go in with the new-ness!
Coming soon... a give away! My very first! (we'll see how many people will actually comment when they stop by then!!)
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