To My Daughter: What I fear, You Shouldn't Have To

In talking to my mom the other day - I realized something. She has a LOT of the same insecurites I do. Probably the same insecurites that a lot of women have - if they admit it or not. I hope that by realizing that I'm not alone with these insecurities that I don't in anyway influence my daughter (or son) to have the same insecurites.

I'm not saying my parents caused my insecurites. Well, not my mom at any rate. Sadly, my fear of rejection comes from before birth. Thankfully my daughter won't face that from her father. And thankfully that will not follow into a fear of not being good enough. (both go together for me) I think it's sad that it took having children, specifically a girl, to realize these things. But I can assure everyone (mainly myself) that these are things I will do my best to make sure my daughter never realizes in herself.

In a matter of three hours (literally) I have come to the decision I don't just want to change these things about myself - but also change the world in which ALL girls grow up in so that no one feels these things. The media perpetuates alot of this. The question is: How do we stop it?

Scrambled Eggs... Also Known As... My thoughts.

So in total random-ness (yes I believe I made that word up..) here are some totally random thoughts that some may find either completely silly, out of left field or possibly thought provoking. (seriously if anything I say is thought provoking by all means... let me know!)

It's sad (in my world) when the highlight of my morning is to see who the "famous" person or guest is on Sesame Street. And I usually am more interested in the musical guests...

I have friends making comments about being old because they are parents of teens (or soon to be). Yet I feel old because Jr goes to preschool just a mere 2 yes TWO days a week! I can't believe honestly that he really is old enough for such things. Time passes oh so quickly...

I have friends I wish I had more time for. More time to call, More time to write them emails or just sit down and write them a good old fashion letter or even write in a silly card to say "Hey, your important to me!" and I realize that I allow the kids to be my excuse to not do these things... really should change that...

No matter how much crap there is going on in my (our) lives the only things that really matter are the ones sitting at (or around) the dinner table every night. Enjoying the time we have, learning and growing should be the most important things. sigh

I think I am going to regret (on some level) putting Jr in speech. I might actually understand what he's crying/whining/saying and wish for when I couldn't understand such things. Scratch that. Perhaps it will head off some of the whining because he won't get so frustrated because I don't understand him.

Every mom feels like the worst parent ever, at some point. I can't be the only one. If I am.. let me know. I seem to be on a "mommy fail" roll right now...

Anyone who said that toddlers are easy was smoking crack because they quite honestly have not met my two year old or any of his counterparts...don't believe, read any of the facebook statuses of my friends.. I love them all (and so do their mothers) but I'm sure all my friends would agree...

Just because I don't share the same views as some Left or Right Wing extremist does not mean that my opinion, as small as it may be, doesn't count. I vote so therefore it does. Or so the constitution tells me it does.

All of Elmo's World songs are to the tune of "Jingle Bells". and I find it quite annoying.

I'm finding as a mother of two I'm having a hard time figuring out who "I" am in this role. I sure hope it doesn't take me 18 years to figure it out!

Really. There are Nice People Out There!

There are a million and a half things I need to be doing right now. Blogging is NOT one of them. However I feel compelled to share my morning. Not because of the relatively mundane of it all (because 98% of it has been so far) but because something shocked me today.

It has been normal in just about every sense of the word. Captain Crabby Pants had decided to take over my usually happy, fun loving King of Chaos. Everything has become something to whine over. Hey, he is 2 after all. Okay so mom was just "dealing" and moving on. Mistress of Mayhem has decided to create just that. Mayhem. She is no longer sleeping long stretches at night nor is she napping well during the day. (a solution to both MUST be found soon!) We had errands to run and I wanted them out of the way pre-nap time because, well, Captain Crabby Pants just was NOT going with out one today!

We needed to go drop off a box to be shipped. The first place wasn't sure about the type of label it had so we had to take it to a second. Got it out and on it's way. Yeah one less thing! Then it was off to talk to a lady to find out if some important paperwork had been forwarded to the appropriate place - this is never a fun stop, Jr always has a melt down when leaving the train table. Yet we made it out alive and headed to the Commissary.

Jr HATES riding in the double stroller (any stroller really) and I only needed a few things. So in he went because really, who has the time to chase a toddler through any store let alone one with groceries? I kept getting the usual looks from the older crowd. All thanks to Captain Crabby Pant's varying from his chosen whine to a high pitched scream. While waiting our turn to snake in close enough to the meat counter to grab some ground beef to go with tonight's dinner, one particularly sour woman snapped at him, telling him, " You need to be quiet! I can't believe your mother lets you scream like that in public!" To say I was taken aback was and is an understatement. For once in my life, yes me (and if you really know me) was speechless.

THANK YOU!!! To the elderly couple who I think had followed me into the store and had been behind me during most of our time in the store to that point. (and before certain people ask, yes they where in fact elderly. Most certainly older then 55. So there is no knife throwing here!) The gentleman, wearing a Vietnam Veterans hat stepped between the stroller and Ms. Sour Puss and informed her, "If you were a young mother, obviously trying to make a quick trip to a store with two young ones I hope no one would treated you or your children the way you just did this young lady! She has been calm and patient with a child who is obviously having a difficult moment. Who ever told you that you could speak to a child that way needs to have their ears boxed!" His wife then went on to tell her, "I have never seen such rudeness! In my day we would NEVER have spoken such things out loud." She then proceeded to tell me, "You have had more patience with him then I ever could have. You are doing a wonderful job!" To say the least I did take some satisfaction in the look on Ms. Sour Puss' face.

It's really nice to know that when you feel like your having a complete and udder mommy fail moment, to someone else they are seeing the complete opposite!

Preschool!

A good breakfast before our big day!

The all important backpack

Had to Check in with the class "fish" nemo!

Playing house already!

There were no tears dropping him off.. and as you can see by the time I left he was already making friends ;) I'm off to pick up my little man!

*I know there are a few posts missing between the last and this... they will be forth coming I promis :)

Junior turns 2! part two

Lighting McQueen... with minor adjustments I mean body work



 to say he enjoyed his cake is an understatement...







 He got so many toys! We are definitely good for a while!!

Junior turns 2! part one

  laughing with friends

 this is how a tow truck works!

 Junior and Ali... he likes the older women!

 Miss Mayhem hanging out


 And even friends from our Corpus Christi days stop by!


so serious!


 Trace (L), Zach (m) and Emily (R) enjoy Jr's pool

*Thanks to Jen & Judge for taking so many photos!

Cousin Judge Arrives!

Originally I was going to put all kinds of things in this post... I think it's easier if I seperate them out into their own ( more work for me... but a few less pictures per post this way)

Cousin Boog (AKA Justin) just recently went back to California. We had a wonderful visit with him! He got to spend a few nights with just Chris and the kids (while I was at a class) which resulted in a couple adventures of their own. We also took him to the Naval Aviation Muesum here on the base. He was also lucky enough to show up just in time for Juniors birthday party!

Here are a few pictures from his visit:

I got him!

At dinner

wearing Justin's pants on his head Junior's first backpack for school!

Two Year old photos:

Can't forget the little girl too :)