To My Daughter: What I fear, You Shouldn't Have To

In talking to my mom the other day - I realized something. She has a LOT of the same insecurites I do. Probably the same insecurites that a lot of women have - if they admit it or not. I hope that by realizing that I'm not alone with these insecurities that I don't in anyway influence my daughter (or son) to have the same insecurites.

I'm not saying my parents caused my insecurites. Well, not my mom at any rate. Sadly, my fear of rejection comes from before birth. Thankfully my daughter won't face that from her father. And thankfully that will not follow into a fear of not being good enough. (both go together for me) I think it's sad that it took having children, specifically a girl, to realize these things. But I can assure everyone (mainly myself) that these are things I will do my best to make sure my daughter never realizes in herself.

In a matter of three hours (literally) I have come to the decision I don't just want to change these things about myself - but also change the world in which ALL girls grow up in so that no one feels these things. The media perpetuates alot of this. The question is: How do we stop it?

Really. There are Nice People Out There!

There are a million and a half things I need to be doing right now. Blogging is NOT one of them. However I feel compelled to share my morning. Not because of the relatively mundane of it all (because 98% of it has been so far) but because something shocked me today.

It has been normal in just about every sense of the word. Captain Crabby Pants had decided to take over my usually happy, fun loving King of Chaos. Everything has become something to whine over. Hey, he is 2 after all. Okay so mom was just "dealing" and moving on. Mistress of Mayhem has decided to create just that. Mayhem. She is no longer sleeping long stretches at night nor is she napping well during the day. (a solution to both MUST be found soon!) We had errands to run and I wanted them out of the way pre-nap time because, well, Captain Crabby Pants just was NOT going with out one today!

We needed to go drop off a box to be shipped. The first place wasn't sure about the type of label it had so we had to take it to a second. Got it out and on it's way. Yeah one less thing! Then it was off to talk to a lady to find out if some important paperwork had been forwarded to the appropriate place - this is never a fun stop, Jr always has a melt down when leaving the train table. Yet we made it out alive and headed to the Commissary.

Jr HATES riding in the double stroller (any stroller really) and I only needed a few things. So in he went because really, who has the time to chase a toddler through any store let alone one with groceries? I kept getting the usual looks from the older crowd. All thanks to Captain Crabby Pant's varying from his chosen whine to a high pitched scream. While waiting our turn to snake in close enough to the meat counter to grab some ground beef to go with tonight's dinner, one particularly sour woman snapped at him, telling him, " You need to be quiet! I can't believe your mother lets you scream like that in public!" To say I was taken aback was and is an understatement. For once in my life, yes me (and if you really know me) was speechless.

THANK YOU!!! To the elderly couple who I think had followed me into the store and had been behind me during most of our time in the store to that point. (and before certain people ask, yes they where in fact elderly. Most certainly older then 55. So there is no knife throwing here!) The gentleman, wearing a Vietnam Veterans hat stepped between the stroller and Ms. Sour Puss and informed her, "If you were a young mother, obviously trying to make a quick trip to a store with two young ones I hope no one would treated you or your children the way you just did this young lady! She has been calm and patient with a child who is obviously having a difficult moment. Who ever told you that you could speak to a child that way needs to have their ears boxed!" His wife then went on to tell her, "I have never seen such rudeness! In my day we would NEVER have spoken such things out loud." She then proceeded to tell me, "You have had more patience with him then I ever could have. You are doing a wonderful job!" To say the least I did take some satisfaction in the look on Ms. Sour Puss' face.

It's really nice to know that when you feel like your having a complete and udder mommy fail moment, to someone else they are seeing the complete opposite!

Things I have Learned...

I know in the past I have posted about things I have learned since becoming a mom (see Here )

This is my updated list:

• My son may have a "dirty" diaper shortly after waking up, but inevitably he will work on having a blow out while we are out in public.
• Things that shouldn't be a toy, will in fact become a toy.
• Jr will figure out how to get something to work for him, at the least opportune time for mommy! (like figuring out where the "send" button is on mommy's cell phone)
• When sleeping and napping schedules seem to be figured out, inevitably they will change.
• As he learns things (new things on a daily basis) he will do them agian, and again and agian, despite the repeated "No's" and lets do something different over here or other failed attempts at redirection.

I have loved this journey that we are on as a team, although sometimes I feel more like the goal keeper or referee but I have also learned so much about myself. My patience level is much higher then I thought it ever could be. My ability to be amazed, entranced and fall in love with the smallest things is amazing. I can't wait to see him grow and change through out the years, I also can't wait to see his relationship with his Daddy grow and develop especially as they reconnect when Daddy gets back.

Things I've Learned So Far as A Mom

As it relates to food:
~"biter biscuits" melt when you give them to a baby who's teething but has yet to get any teeth. That "residue" they leave turns into cement.
~Zwieback Toast isn't much better!
~Baby teeth hurt more then puppy teeth when teething babies get ahold and take a bite out of your hand.
As it relates to Sleep:
~Pack n Plays or Port-a-crib do not replace a crib! I don't care what anyone says!! Jr slept almost all night back in TX in his full sized crib. He wakes up by 1 EVERY morning and ends up in bed with me. Nothing I've done works!!! I want my sleep'n through the night (almost) baby back!! This is turning him into a monster during the day because he REFUSES to nap and is just getting overly tired. Cranky baby=cranky mom.
~attempts to nurse Jr to sleep only work while he's latched on or laying ON me. I need him to take a nap without laying on mommy! (laying on Grandma would be acceptable to me!)
As it relates to Play:
~Anything and Everything is considered a toy. NOTHING is safe.