Life on the ranch is definitely what I needed during this deployment. Aside from school work to keep me busy but things on the ranch are a distraction that I needed. I realized that the rough day I was having yesterday was not because Jr was having a rough day it was because I was having a rough day dealing with everything. The deployment, school, Jr all of the above where just wearing on me.

Today I realized that doing mundane things like chores has been helpful. Especially when it comes to feeding cows and getting some physical exertion out. Pushing bales of hay off a haystack while trying to avoid taking out fencing ment to keep calves out is more physically trying then it looked. (Normally my mother in law climbs up and knocks them down and Jr and I collect the wires as she spreads the bales out for the cows.) Pushing bales around with out wearing Jr (which is the norm for us when we "help" with chores) was not only a good work out but a great way for me to get some frustrations out. This deployment is rougher because I see all the things that Chris is missing while he's gone, despite realizing that it's part of his job and this should be the last deployment for a couple years and despite the fact I'm trying to document in any way I can everything that Jr learns while he's gone.

I also get to hear (on a semi-regular basis) that Chris and I have it "sooo easy". When Chris' dad was in the Navy and stationed at Diego or Guam he got one phone call a month and it cost him a hundred dollars. The internet is a blessing and a curse. It's easier to stay in touch but at the same time, constant contact can also make it more difficult. Its a matter of finding a balance, and figuring out how to take care of everything I need to but figure out how to ask for help and/or accept help when I need it. Thankfully I have awesome in-laws and family who are helping out tremendously.