Okay so it's a total theft of a song title.. but it fits how I feel right now. I should sooo be asleep because if Jr holds true to form (and lets hope he doesn't) he'll be awake in an hour and a half and want to come to bed with me. So any decent sleep I could have gotten will be out the window.
Chris is on his way out of the states. I got my last phone call for probably the next 3 days earlier. Luckily it was before Jr fell asleep so that I could hold the phone to where Jr could hear his Daddy.
Deployments before this where hard, and I'm having a harder time this go-round. I think I made it this far with out a lot of tears because there are more people around, and I really don't want Jr (although he's too young to understand) see his momma crying. I have gone to the gym with Grandma Jane most of last week and probably will agian this week. Tomorrow I have to make some calls to get school figured out for me so I can hopefully take some classes. Between Jr and school this deployment should fly by. However from where I'm sitting right now it doesn't feel like it will.
I'd like to say it will get easier in a day or two, but really it doesn't. You just run out of tears, and that fight or flight takes over and you push on to carry on. (if that makes any sense at all!)
In terms of knowing what is going on, Jr is doing well. He smiles when he hears Daddy's voice on the phone and tries to look at the phone when you put it close to his head. Bath time hasn't been horrible - till tonight. Perhaps he knew Daddy wasn't in Texas anymore? Who knows - he was a screaming little maniac though. Other then that he's been pretty darn good for a kid who's first tooth is poking through. (the top is through the gums-now for the rest of it to pop out!) {Sleeping with his Navy Bear so Daddy is always near by!}
3 comments:
I know it's not the same - it's different in a few major ways - but I understand the stress and fears in some ways because of Bob's job as a pilot and him being away most of the time. I can't imagine how much harder this is on you because of those major differences b/w my situation and yours. I'm sending prayers and hugs that it gets easier for you and that Chris will always be safe and out of harm's way. Meantime, there are many of us that are here for you - don't hesitate to call - even late at night. I'll email you my #s so you'll have them handy. :)
Yay, I finally found your blog again now I can catch up. I've been there it's gets a little easier(not much) but a little easier as every day goes by. I can only say try to keep yourself busy. It's the times when you sit still long enough to think about it that get you down the most. That and when the lil one is giving you a hard time and you wish someone else was there to help. All I can say is I'm always just a phone call away if you need to talk. And you are always welcome where ever we are if you wanna get away. Love ya. Give your lil moose a kiss for me.
Sweetheart, you do what you gotta do. If you need to cry, cry. It's actually for our kids (especially little boys) to see us cry. (Just not the screaming, throwing things kind of cry. ;) lol) If you need anything, I'm here for you. *muah*
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