An Open Letter

An Open Letter

This is addressed to those of you who feel the need to belittle your children because you think they are “fat” or they don’t look/act/dress a certain way.

Odds are you where told as a child to “clear your plate – there are starving children in _____ (fill in the blank country)”. As a result now as an adult – you clear your plate. Take a moment – check your waist line. Oh wait?! Self examination isn’t allowed? Why not?! You are forcing your child to do it every time you tell them “if you eat this/that/or whatever that you are going to stay/get fat”. What kind of parent are you being if you are doing this to your kid?

What happened to raising a healthy, self confident child? Where did the days of self discovery and building a healthy self esteem go? Are they gone with the days of wearing a seatbelt wasn’t a requirement? Did they disappear along with letting our kids explore until the sun went down during their summer vacation? Simply gone like yesterday?

Now children are forced to believe they need to be like the kids they see on TV and on a magazine page. Are you contributing to this? Are you telling them that if they eat/drink this/that/or whatever that they will never look like “that”? Or are you telling a young man that if he doesn’t work out or play this sport or that sport that he’ll never get the girl on the TV/magazine page?

Are YOU making healthy choices in your life? Or are you just expecting your kid to? Does your child see you living as an example or a “do as I say – not as I do”? I have a teenage niece. I DO NOT want her to be modeling her life after someone who is on a magazine page, or trying to follow the “latest” trends. I want her to be a strong independent woman when she grows into the woman she is SUPPOSED to be. And you know what? She is surrounded by women in our family who are anything BUT sticks. We are all at various stages in our life and various weights. My niece has had a front row and center seat to watching my mother in law over the past three years lose over a hundred pounds. That weight loss wasn’t in order to “look a certain way”- it has been about getting and staying healthy. My niece has watched her grandma go from being someone who’s self confidence was very low, to someone who is proud of WHO she is and what she has accomplished. I like to think that it has influenced my niece in a positive manner that will further her understanding of what a real-life role model is.

These are the types of role models kids need. Not some stick figure who’s under dressed in a too-low cut outfit with over done make up. Kids need to be shown that as adults we are making healthier choices because we want to be around long enough to see them prosper and live their own lives as adults. Not because they don’t’ “fit” into a mold that society as a whole has created with unrealistic expectations.

If you are forcing these unrealistic expectations on your child – try forcing them on yourself first and see how it affects you before you do irreparable damage to your kid. You may find by hearing someone tell you that if you eat/drink this/that/or whatever that your self esteem will wither away until you find yourself unsure of any decision you make. Seriously consider, is that how you want your kid to grow up? Is this the type of adult you want your child to be?