Mother of the Year - What a Crock

I read a blog post earlier this morning that has been weighing heavy on my heart. Granted I'm not *quite* a mom yet, but even so I am a little disheartened by my friends posts.

My disheartened feeling is not by what she felt in terms of the feelings she conveyed in her post, but more by the fact that women are programed to compare themselves to other women regardless of what the topic is. The way we dress, the choices we make, the careers we choose, the schools we put our children in, the way we dress our children or raise them, the list goes on and on. All of these things we are programed to compare what we feel is right to what is being hailed as the social "norm" in the media or by the so called professionals.

How are we supposed to compare our lives to that of someone like Angelina Jolie, J Lo or Madonna? All these women have a seemingly endless supply of money and resources at their disposal that most of us do not. Yet they are hailed as the "best mothers". June Cleaver even still holds stock in what a "Mother of the Year" should be - only now she also works a full time job. None of these so called role models are right for everyone - nor do they apply to what some people deal with, handling obstacles that they did not ask for but where handed when the cards where dealt. (And they may vent their frustrations - but they do not complain about the hand they where given in the sense that they wish it wasn't given to them because truth be told, they wouldn't change those obstacles or "something mores".)

My friend's blog post that prompted this one, was about being "No Mother of the Year". This woman has and is facing insurmountable odds yet she feels like a failure. As far as I can tell, she is anything but. She deals with putting the needs of her 3 children first - before her own and her husbands. And sometimes (more often than not at the moment) she has to choose which of her children's needs to but before the other 2. No mother likes to do things like this, nor do they take this challenge willingly. But they do what they need to do, to make sure that at that moment in their child's life they thrive. She has been giving everything she can, and then some, to make sure her children get everything they need to have the best possible life that SHE can provide. Yet she still feels like a failure.

Society condemns people who have a child with a special need, or a phrase I like better - "something more", if they choose to have more children because it is like they are trying to make up for a mistake. This couldn't be farther from the truth, they are attempting to provide that child with the same things that they were given as a child - a family. The complete family experience, including siblings.

My friend is by in no way a failure. She is a strong and courageous woman who takes things on the chin, and attempts to keep moving forward despite the weight of the crud being thrown her way. No one, not you - not me - not the so called "professionals" can say she is doing something wrong. She is standing up for her children doing everything she can, the best way that she can and she is giving ALL that she can (and more) for all 3 of her boys - because they mean the world to her. In my book - that so called "Mother of the Year" crap is just that. However if I had to pick one person to wear the crown - she would have worn it for the past eight years, and every year from here on out. I only hope that as a new mom - despite facing the unknown of motherhood that I can only follow her example of selflessness and dedicate everything to raising my kids the best way I can.

If you would like to read this wonderful, couragous woman's blog - I suggest reading the whole thing (it's been around a while) but you can find her here:Cheerio Confessions